This is exactly how tired I want to be at 8:20 on a week night.  Tired enough to really be ready to go to bed in two or three hours, but no longer.

All it took was getting up at 6:30 this morning. After going to bed at midnight.  After spontaneously waking up, massively hungover, at 6:30 the previous morning.  After crashing at midnight again.   And spending all day running errands and driving four hours across west Tennessee.   Midnight to 6:30, twice in a row.

That's all it took to make me good and tired.  Plus a painkiller.  Plus one can of beer.

Now I feel nice and tired.  Not exhausted (somehow).  Just relaxed.  Looking forward to bed, but not dreading it for being too near.

Tired enough to not be in denial about my problems, whether to deny them or inflate them.  Tired enough to just.. see them.

The things that suck do, indeed suck.  And the things that rock, rock.  That sounds so simple-minded, so facile.  But it is so very easy to lose sight of.  Maybe it's why wisdom tends to come with age -- as a child, you're full of hope and depression and determination and impatience and all the thousand other words we have for describing various forms of self-deception.

The good and bad always co-exist.  The dog I spent too much to neuter will be much better off and better for me because of it, for example.

Too tired to hope.  Too tired to worry.  Just tired enough to see.